Tony and I don't typically buy things for our children as forms of praise or just because they were especially good, we don't believe that is how children should be raised. We want our children to not have soo many things that they just expect things to be given to them, we want them to wish for things and look forward to birthdays and other special holidays, knowing that these are the times in which gifts are exchanged. Gabe has never thrown a fit in a toy store about wanting a toy, he knows better, we can look, but if he acts up then he will certainly not get the item. In fact his favorite thing to say to me is "Mama is it ok for me to wish for...?"
I guess we have more will power than most parents and don't mind if he gets his "feelings hurt" afterall we are the ones in charge not our children. I think parents forget that they are the ones in charge, they don't want their children to not like them, so they bend over backwards to fill their children's every want and need and end up losing their parental authority in the process. We believe that spending time together, playing together, just being together is how we show our children our love and affection, we don't want to buy our children's love. (Don't read me wrong here, obviously if the children need shoes, they will get them, we are talking items they "think" they need)
That being said, on the way home from church on Sunday we saw this croquet set sitting alongside the road with a sign on it that said "FREE" (now not even we could pass that up), our Gabriel loves to play, and the set is quite old like the one Grandma and Granddaddy have, and it was in fine condition too! All the mallets, balls, and wire loops were in tact, so we were quite happy with our find. We figured with his birthday coming up in a few weeks he could have it as an early present. Our Gabriel was soo excited about us getting someone's used croquet set, that he could not wait for us to get home and play it together. Do you think a child who gets everything their heart desires, would be interested in a used toy like my Gabriel was? When a child learns the value of what he has, then he also learns respect.
As another example today, he went birthday shopping with his great grandmother at Toys R US, he could have anything he wanted, Gabriel picked out one Thomas train that he had been asking for, when Grandma asked him what else would you like he said nothing, that was all he needed right now...how many children do you know that wouldn't want EVERYTHING in the store? At almost 4 years of age I think my Gabriel is grateful for the toys he does have, and not a spoiled brat as some other children his age!
