Thursday, August 13, 2009

William Ausherman Sowers 9-11-28 thry 8-8-2009

This week as pretty much been a blur to me and my beloved Pappy passed away on Saturday evening at around 6:15 with my Grandma, my Dad, Uncle Phil and Uncle Matt around his bedside. Tony and the kids and I were in Williamsburg on a vacation of sorts when we got the call and immediately came home.

Pappy had been battling kidney cancer since around January of this year, he tried a few rounds of chemo but only having one kidney made this too hard on him so he decided to quit the treatments and ultimately pass away in his home surrounded by family.

Being that the last time I lost a close relative was when I was 4 and it was my Dad's brother Doug (and I don't remember anything about it, except for the fact my nose bled the night it happened all over my bed), this last week has been extremely tough and exhausting. Who knew all the arrangements that go into a funeral? Who will be the pastor, what will Pappy wear for all Eternity, what music will we sing in his honor, who will carry the casket from the church to the grave site, how will my kids react, how will I react? This was all so new to me...the heartbreak of watching my Grandma bury her soul mate and now will be living alone, I can't even begin to imagine that!

Gabe and Sophia seemed OK until the day of the funeral, when we all walked up to the casket one last time, it hit them hard that he was truly gone from this earth, I think that was the worst part for Tony and I...and also to see my Daddy cry for his Daddy was pretty rough too.

Oh, Pap (my nickname for you) and you called me "your girl" I miss you so much, you made me the person that I am today, you LOVED everyone you met, you loved all of your grandchildren and great grandchildren, you worked hard to provide for Grandma even on your deathbed you bought a new stove for Grams because you did not want her to be cold this winter (like we would EVER let that happen)! Your beautiful garden never got planted this year because you did not have energy to plant and tend to it. You loved to feed my children candy and send them home with candy (even though they had not had their dinner yet) many of my memories of you are sharing what you had with others, be it the vegetables from your garden or the fresh clean water from your spring house you were always doing God's work...I hope that I can be half the person you were.

I will always love you, may you no longer be in any pain, and be in comfort up alongside the angels in heaven, I WILL see you again!